Torn

In the world of shades of grey I find myself torn.

Torn because I myself am a shade of grey, mixed from my white and black background.

Do I blend in with this world?

Am I just a continuation of the middle ground, this undisclosed region known only to those that can see it.
Those that have not sheltered their eyes from this grey, the grey that like the middle ground it represents has only half truths and half hopes.

The Dreams

I dream these dreams with lullaby's and gold stars. These dreams that give me hope and the power to say "Yes I can!". The sun filled once in a blue moon rainy day dreams. The, make me wanna climb the highest mountain only to get stuck at the bottom due to weather but because of that I found inner piece dreams. The fantastically imaginative I don't feel so bad about not having friends because I find comfort within myself dreams. The dreams that dare me to dream again dreams...

Intro For Poems

I plan on making video's of all my poems to date and some new ones that I haven't posted yet. This will be the introduction to all of them :)

Battle Ready

With my heart as my shield and my words as my weapons I stand ready for battle.

The worlds armies at my feet I stand ready me myself and I.

With only the strength of my soul to lead me.

I Ponder...

I ponder what has been, what is now, and what there is to come

I ponder the people that have come before me

I ponder what makes things good and what makes things bad

I ponder what this world has in store for me

I ponder what I could make of this world


I ponder...

Me And Mine... I wish

I see the stars and moon as the jealousy in their eyes grows as their light is just a fraction of that which shines in you.

The light that pulls me in with the strength of 100 wild horses, that could never be tamed but in your presence they know only obedience.

My world orbits a star that is the embodiment of you and the blissful rays that shone from it, spread joy to everything they touch.

The clouds part, the skies clear and people look to the heavens just to catch a glimpse and for a moment be part of something great.

You are everything but in this large world but a piece of the puzzle that makes it whole. When I look into myself and put the pieces of my soul together, the piece that fits everywhere is you.

Deafening Silence

The silence deafens me. Know for not ever will I hear the sounds of the world when they are not listening for me.

The emptyness of sound that chills me. Stuck inside me. Never escaping.

I've been forced from where I am into this place, this place of deafening silence.

The calmness of the place I used to be and once was is like a fleeting memory. A voice in the wind. An echo in this great silence that deafens me.

Not falling ... Flying down ...

As I plummet from the sky from which I used to soar, my wings cut short from the great length that even my thoughts could not reach are now but memories of their greatness, echoes of what they were.

As the warmth of the place I hold so dear like the warmth of the cabin fire as you sit and bask in its joy slips away, I fall ... not fall but fly down.

Down to you.

As my dreams are no longer strong enough to take flight the image of you is my revelation. The purity of your soul is the gust of air like the embodiment of salvation itself carries me away, back to my place in the sky.

With you as my wings I have no fear, I see the world not for what it is but for what it could be. With you as my wings I can fly higher then my dreams could have taken me, with you as my wings I am whole.


With you as my wings, I know nothing for which to describe my limits ... I am free.

My Realization

The world spins in a frantic haze to find itself in a hurry. Ice age after ice age, era after era. The world builds and falls, creates and destroys.

A child is born and as images of candy and sugar plums dance in their head, visions of what the world could be and should be dance in mine.

Wrapped in a blanket of warmth that the visions themselves represent I come to the realization that life is meant to be lived and loved.
Lived in one moment that can be infinitely small like the grains of sand that come to call this world home, or that moment can stretch as long and as vast as the universe itself.
Loved for the things that cant be lived and never let go of for fear that you would never be whole again, like the penguin, the bird that cant fly, like life played a cruel trick on you and took away the one thing you cant live without. Flight. To sore through the skies in your imagination, to be all that you can be and more.

And like a math problem being solved by a great, it comes to a solution; one answer your life just fits. It is the solution the answer and the question it is one and infinite. It is everything you are and everything you aren't.

Life =/= you

You = Life

Ying - Yang

I am made up of everything i am and everything im not.

Yours and years his and mine.

I and we are of this and that which theirs and its go into hers and ours.

Totally she combines with all that is here and, where a totality that is neither less nor greater to the sum of the being that i call me.

I drive through life like...

I drive through life like...

I'm singing like I know the words..

Like I know the dance steps but really I'm just following that guy...

Like I finished all my food, but really I gave the rest to the dog...

I drive through life like...

My career was a stock broker, but when I was a kid, I always wanted to be a fire fighter so I could drive the big red truck...

I drive through life like I don't know who I really am...

I cruise the streets looking at "I can do that" road and "wouldn't that be fun" street...

And when I stop at the red lights, which happens frequently because nobody gets through life that fast, I see the other people driving their fancy cars turning down "broke ass" lane and stopping off at "go nowhere" crescent...

I drive through life like I don't know who I really am,
I drive though life with my busted up car,
I drive though life but at least I know who I don't wanna be...

Not the question but the..

Something made up to mystify and confuse you.

Your thoughts wrapped in an enigma made of those same thoughts.

A fog of uncertainty that blankets the space in your mind you use to reason.

The undeniable truth that you just do not know and it scares you to think that when you concentrate so hard on that which alludes you you draw a blank.

A thought so empty so void so absolutely vacant of anything that is anything.

It's not the question but the...

disengaged

As the world changes like in a child's imagination, I do not.
A bubble in time like that child holding that one thought forever.

It's unchanging innocence like the child itself is surrounded by an impenetrable field that seems to shelter it from the cold harshness of the world. As if the evil eyes from the world have not cast their stare.

Disengaged from the world I stand. As far away as my thoughts are from me.

Dream a dream...

As I sleep these walls have eyes that cast gazes on my imagination that light up my dreams.

My dreams that like the eyes themselves peer into the deepest reaches of my soul and show me the wonder that I see.

For I am that dreamer that dares to dream those dreams.

end to beginning

What ever was, isnt.
what is, was.
what was, could be again.
what could be, is the dream that I wanna be.

close company

When everything's dead and gone all I got left are my words,

They stay close so I'm reminded that I'm still here.